If someone asked you, “Do you love your children?” Nearly all parents would answer with an unequivocal, “Yes, absolutely! More than anything.”
Yet, feeling love and expressing love are not the same act. While you may know you love your child…ask yourself, do THEY know? It’s easy for affection to get lost during busy or stressful times. Here are seven ways you can express love to your child and help improve their development and mental health as well as your relationship.
1. Practice Active Listening
Active listening is a key communication skill that all parents should utilize with their children. This skill is when you not only listen what someone is saying but you hear their thoughts and feelings.
Here are some ways you should practice active listening:
- Give your child 100% of your attention
- Make eye contact
- Get down on their level
- Repeat what your child is saying back to them
- Clarify if any details are hard to understand
Parents often make the mistake of trying to listen to their children while doing other activities such as washing dishes, driving the car, cleaning the house, folding laundry, or any number of other chores.
However, one of the top ways to make your child feel loved is by taking the time to listen to them. When you don’t give them your full attention or brush off the problems they’re trying to communicate, you show them that you don’t care (even if you do!).
If you make a habit of listening to them now — when they’re little — they’ll continue to feel as though they can talk to you as they grow older. You want your child to share their hopes, dreams, and problems with you as a parent, so be a good listener when they try to talk to you! Just as you would want someone to be an active listener for you.
2. Spend Quality Time
Quality time is one of the best ways to connect with your child and make them feel loved. Spending uninterrupted one-on-one time together helps you get to know your child and allows them to feel close to you.
Many parents struggle to make quality time a priority whether they have a busy work schedule, multiple children, or a myriad of home obligations. We know it’s not always easy to get hours a day with each child!
That said, it is important to make quality time a priority. Even if it’s just 20 minutes per child, block out different segments of your week.
You can structure this quality time around an activity that your child loves like going for a walk, playing at the park, or drawing pictures. During this time, put your phone away, engage with them, and make sure they know that they have your full attention! Practice those active listening skills and demonstrate interest in their life by asking them about their day, friends, and interests.
3. Give Encouragement
Encouragement is a significant way that parents provide emotional support to their children. Children who receive encouragement from their parents demonstrate better behavior and have a stronger sense of self-motivation and self-esteem.
Of course, this can be easier said than done. How do you know when to encourage your child versus when to leave them be? Should you constantly praise them? Below are some guidelines that can make it a bit easier.
- Encourage the behavior you want to see your child repeat
- Describe the good behavior that you see your child doing, so they know you’re happy about it and what it is they should continue doing
- Recognize the effort your child makes and give them honest and sincere encouragement
- Focus on giving age-appropriate encouragement
- Encourage your child as they learn and grow throughout the process — they don’t have to do it perfectly before you praise them!
- Strive to give your child five different encouragements a day and see the difference it makes
4. Set Boundaries
Do you constantly question yourself when it comes to setting boundaries with your kids? Do you feel mean whenever you lay down rules or consequences? Wouldn’t it be better if you could just be friends with your kids?
Boundary setting can be uncomfortable, but research shows it’s a crucial aspect of parenting. All children need reliably enforced rules in their lives, and when you disregard boundaries that you’ve set previously, it’s confusing for your children.
Understanding how to navigate and respect boundaries is a lifelong skill. By raising your child in a home with clear, healthy limits, you enable them to see how boundaries are helpful and can function in their own life moving forward.
Need help learning to set boundaries? It may not be your fault! If you were raised in a home with unclear boundaries, you could be learning along with your child. Here’s what we suggest.
- Have clear, fair, and consistent rules
- Be firm and consistent
- Always keep your word once you’ve set a boundary
- Speak in a firm voice, maintain appropriate eye contact, and have a neutral facial expression
- Follow through with consequences for inappropriate behavior
- Propose alternatives
- Don’t be afraid to give your child a few choices so they feel some independence and autonomy
- Have developmentally appropriate expectations
- Don’t think that a 3-year-old will behave the same way as a 12-year-old with respect to your boundary!
5. Model Healthy Behavior
As a parent, you are your child’s number one example. One way you can express love for your child is by modeling healthy behavior and coping mechanisms, even when life is hard for you to handle.
Parents often believe that kids don’t feel stress and anxiety. It’s an old-school thought that kids don’t have anything to be stressed about. Wrong! Even if they don’t show it, kids feel stress and anxiety from school, sports, friends, and family members.
In fact, think about the last time you were stressed. How did your stress affect your children? Many parents don’t notice the disruption their stress can have on their family dynamic until they’ve had a chance to reflect.
Show your family love by modeling healthy coping behaviors. Be aware of how you deal with your problems. Do you tend to get frustrated more easily? Drink alcohol? Use nicotine?
Your kids are noticing even if you don’t think they are. Try incorporating walks, meditation, or time to yourself into your routine if you realize that you’re not modeling the healthiest behaviors for your children.
6. Celebrate Milestones
From birthdays to learning to walk to riding a bike, milestones are an essential part of your child’s life. They provide you the opportunity to celebrate your child, make memories, and make them feel special. Don’t pass up these opportunities — the days are long, but the years are short! This is an easy way to make your child feel loved.
7. Provide a Safe Environment
Providing a safe and calm environment is one of the most basic ways to show your child love. Think about the house that your child lives in.
- Is it a safe place for them to grow and learn?
- Does it provide a sense of peace for them when they walk through the doors?
- How could you reduce stress and conflict in the home?
- Are all adult relationships modeled lovingly and healthily?
- Can children come to you with questions and concerns?
If not, consider how you could move toward a household that checks all the boxes above. You want your child to find comfort in your home — not added stress and anxiety!
Final Thoughts
Showing your child love is right up there with food, shelter, and water! Improving your listening skills, boosting quality time, giving encouragement, setting boundaries, modeling healthy behaviors, celebrating milestones, and providing a safe environment are great ways to fulfill this need.
Do you want a reliable pediatrician on your healthcare team? Jacksonville Pediatric Care Centers provide care. Dr. Benitez and his team of Jacksonville pediatricians work around the clock to provide exceptional pediatric care.
